Remember to get recommendation letters my dear.

By the way, I got a calculation of how many days we are ahead of OB & LQ(officially)–172. This does not imply any correlation with the “quality of love” of course.

Get well soon; I love you.

I realize that (albeit from a surprising source) what I want is the feeling that you need me; I don’t really feel that currently.

One point to add: you think we are on the phone too often? With careful accounting I would say 5 hours per week is already an exaggerated estimate (in the past week we have 2 50 min conversations; other conservations won’t even reach an average of 30 min a day). Now 5 hours a week is a very pathetic amount of time to spend with your boyfriend considering what you spend on the other social activities. On the phone for 5 hours might be too much when we can see each other in person, but should not be the case when we cannot.

Where are you?

Add oil.

I had feared that this would happen, and now it did. I really have no intention to ask for an intimate conversation, rather trying my best to show otherwise. I regret that I wrote the first private post; I desire a positive relationship with you much more than intimate conversations. You seldom believe in me though, and this has happened more than once. I apologize if I gave you such an impression last week; in order to prove myself, I will not speak of intimate conversations anymore from now on. I want you to know that I really love you and care about you; I called you so often not because I want intimate conversations but because I really miss you. I am rarely privileged with the comfort that you believe in me in this issue.

:(

Got my ECON 204A grade today; it is much better than I thought. Not that it is brilliant–I could have done better if I concentrate–but it still came as a big relief. The upside of the previous worry is that I am really working hard now, harder than ever. Graduate school does not have the word ‘under’ before it afterall.

Just added this private post function.

What I want to do here is to share my private thoughts with you, my sheep. Something that troubles me alot is my sexual desire. Rest assured, you are the only one ever in my heart and mind, you along I desire; but I must admit that I really want to get intimate with you. I love you, and I would never exploit you for sex pleasure; nor do I want you to have such an impression. But the fact remains that I constantly feel very uncomfortable, both mentally and physically. As I told you before, I do not masturbate, because I believe this is selfish and disrepects you.

Writing to you ease my uncomfortableness. In the end, I need you–your understanding and your care. I love you.